MORE HAPPY THAN NOT by Adam Silvera

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I am not okay!

This is the first LGBT themed book I’ve read and it left a powerful impression on me with its dark and melancholic narration and serious topics that need attention. It has these moments which give us something funny like throwing some nerdy comic books references which to be honest I’m not very familiar with, it also has bits of sweet nothings but the rest of it is just so DEPRESSING!

This is about a guy named Aaron who considered undergoing a procedure that suppresses his memory of being gay because he thinks his life would be easier if he were straight.

”I couldn’t fill that hole. So forgetting the hole was even there turned out to be the next best saddest thing.”

I’ve gone very emotional with this book, page after page is an intense build up that lead me to this heavy feeling and I can’t even cry my heart out. The weight is just there, crushing me and I wish I could sob it out just to lighten up but the darkness of the book gripped me till the very last page.

I know that the world does not fully accept queerness. And for the people who embrace being queer, every day is like a battle field. Coming out is like an inner-war between choosing your happiness and not hurting the people you love or them hurting you because of the truth, it’s a fight for acceptance and survival. This is a book that grapples with homophobia, of finding one’s sexuality, of love and friendship and more importantly a journey to happiness.

This is what this book taught me: You can’t choose to forget who you are but you can always choose to be More happy than not.

Rating: 5/5

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